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If you have got good jokes or funny stories, Don't keep them to yourself
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What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

Why do men "break wind" more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months... I don't like to interrupt her.

Why is a Laundrette a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those Evolutionary things that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first? The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

All wives are alike. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

Bigamy is having one wife too many... Many men say monogamy is the same.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.